Keep Your Eyes On The Road

Recently, I’ve discovered one of Jaimie’s secret talents that, I think, not too many people know about. While I’m fully aware the closer a couple gets to marriage, (and even after being married) the more you uncover about each other. However, I’m not entirely sure how I should react to this one.

Jaimie has a unique talent of stopping people dead in their tracks when she walks by. By that I mean, she causes other males to enter a coma like state, lose control of whatever they were doing and drool as she walks by. This isn’t just a one-time observation either. I’ve carefully charted several instances of this happening and have come to the conclusion that while I’m around Jaimie, my chances (as well as others) of being involved in an accident significantly increases. see fig. 1.1 Here are just a few of my carefully recorded observations:

Over the course of our relationship, I noticed an increase in cars swerving into our lane while driving when they get a glimpse of Jaimie in the passenger seat. Earlier today in fact, as Jaimie walked over to apply for her new job, she halted the construction of a building on BYU campus while the Mexican workers stopped and stared as she floated by. Yet the danger doesn’t stop at physical harm only; but extends into the financial aspect of life as well. Last night, for example, we quickly stopped by Target to pick up some thank you cards. As we went to pay, our poor young cashier as well was mesmerized by Jaimie. I almost had to reach over the counter and ring up the sale myself.

As the reports clearly show and due to my recent discovery, I’ve taken the necessary precautions and invested in a bike helmet, shoulder, arm and knee pads and a nice pair of double thick safety glasses. It’s not easy being forced to deal with life threatening situations on a daily basis, but somebody certainly has to do it. Plus, I really don’t mind being the lucky guy who gets to be transfixed by her every day. All I know is that I’ll be asking for double the “protection” blessings in my nightly prayers!